The Final State of All the Babies

CHAMPION!

Tom Brady's Babies won the Going Deep Championship by a score of 72 to 72 over The Smithereens. Steve Smith led the team in scoring in the championship round and Drew Brees led the team in scoring for the season. Congrats once again to Tom Brady's Babies on a terrific Fantasy football Season. Hope to see you all next year!  Yes indeed my dear readers, this was the headline on my Dad's league page this morning.  Your very own Tom Brady's Babies won!!!!!!! I'm going to take a minute to gloat.  I kind of rock.  I beat my own Dad, who made it to the playoffs this year and lost in the first round and who has won his leagues the last two years.  And I beat a whole bunch of random boys.  I didn't know any of these people, it was a public league, but I was pretty sure they were all men.  I'm proud of myself.  The last day was utterly torturous.  The Eagles happened to be playing the Saints so I didn't particularly want the Saints to win, but I was expecting my boys Brees and Colston to put up their usual monster numbers.  A couple hours later the game is over, the Eagles had won, and Drew Brees hadn't thrown a touchdown pass in the entire game.  Colston had left the game in the first half with some strange injury (apparently he was coughing up blood...not good).  So at this point I think I am toast.  My savior was Steve Smith, who I had stopped even playing every week because of Carolina's painful quarterback situation.  Low and behold Smith had basically his best game of the season and caught for over 100 yards.   Luckily, I watched excitedly as most of my opponents players punked out on him as well.  Plaxico Burress laid a goose egg, as did his tight end Heath Miller.  That was helpful.  Ryan Grant was the only bit of light from that horrible Packers game and was my only other single player to get me double-digit points.  Going into the afternoon games I was ahead by only about 3 points, with both of us still having significant players left to play.  I began to panic when Kurt Warner's numbers kept growing.  This guy had switched last minute from Favre to Warner and boy was that the right decision.  If only I'd gone with my gut and put Marshawn Lynch in over Earnest Graham.  When the night game began I was a few points behind, with his team completely done and only Chris Cooley left for me.  I was sure Cooley could lock it up for me, he'd been awesome all season.  Early in the first half he catches a 33 yard touchdown pass and that ties the game 72-72.  All I need is for Cooley to get 7 more receiving yards and I've got it, but for some reason I decide to not watch the game.  A little while later my dad appears from his bedroom screaming, "Lisa oh my god!"  What what??  Cooley drops a 2-point conversion pass in the end zone.  That would have won it for me.  The Redskins lead by double digits in the second half and I know I am through - there is no way they are going to do anything but run the ball the rest of the half.  The game ends and we're left with the same score - tied.   I try in vain to find the rules on a tied championship game.  Are we co-champs (unacceptable), or is there a tie-breaker?  I check the standings.  I'd beaten him in the regular season, so I've got that tie-breaker.  I also had more total points than him - there's the second possible tie-breaker.  I've won!!!! Now you might be asking, what about the Boys' league game?  What happened there?  Well, it was over before it began.  My main man Willie Parker broke his stupid leg in the first quarter at St. Louis on freaking Thursday night!  There is no way to win a championship with only production from one running back. Not only did Willie not get me anything, he left me with a lovely NEGATIVE .10 POINTS.  Thanks, Will.  So I basically gave it up there.  I got spanked, particularly after my second running back, Willis Mcgahee, also decided to get hurt in his game and leave quickly.  It was so disappointing - these guys were two of the top running backs in the entire NFL the whole season!  They got me to the end and then they lost it for me.  Poetic, isn't it?  I admit, though, I think I'm happy to not have won that league.  I fear what would have happened to me when I got back to LA and the Boys realized they'd created a monster.  I'd have probably come back to many "sarcastic" barbs, and I wouldn't have been given an ounce of room to gloat.  I'd get upset and then the Boys would try to tell me that they weren't really being serious and I shouldn't be so sensitive, and I'd say fine, even though I wouldn't really believe that they weren't.  I'm plenty proud of a second and a first! I'm a bit sad that its over.  Fantasy football was such a nice little side distraction for a few months.  And it inspired this blog (yay)!   This Week's Favorite Things About the NFL 1.  Philadelphia is pretty amazing.  I've been at home this week and the press is pretty hypocritical (though I know I am about to hear crap for this).  All season they are calling for Reid and McNabb's heads, and suddenly a couple wins have everyone talking about how great they are. Suddenly the same people who wanted Reid to quit mid-season are talking about how much of a stand up guy he is.  Interesting. 2.  You knew I wouldn't go a week without talking about the Patriots.  First team to ever go 15-0 consecutively!  Saturday is it!  Not only could they be the first team to go 16-0, Tom and Randy Moss could both break their respective positions' touchdown records.  I can't wait!!! 3.  I really hate the Redskins and would rather them not get into the playoffs, but the Todd Collins story is one of those that I just love.  The guy has ten full years pass since his last start and wins every game he plays.  Now the Redskins only have a second-string Cowboys team in the way of their playoff hopes.  Its just incredible that things like that can happen in this league.  People can step up out of nowhere. 4.  While it was very disappointing to see Cleveland beat themselves into a hole at the worst possible moment, I was a little happy to see the Bengals finally step up and win an important game.  They have nothing to play for but they didn't just roll over to their division rivals.  Maybe its a glimmer of hope for next year from the one of the league's most disappointing teams this season.   5.  I know I go on and on about Brett Favre but there was a really adorable article about Favre and Greg Jennings on ESPN.com this week, discussing their relationship.  For those more sentimental fans, like me, its a good read. Random Thought of the Week You know what I really don't care about?  College bowl games.  I know they are tradition, and maybe I just can't get into it because I didn't go to a school with a football team (a fact that our Boston College rivals loved to constantly point out to us, yet I never really understood why, that's not really an insult).  But they just seem so pointless.  Half the kids get suspended after their semester grades come out and suddenly we're supposed to be shocked that they didn't really study.  Then the majority of the teams play meaningless games with titles like the Papajohns.com Bowl, or the San Diego Credit Union Bowl.  I guess the BCS bowls are supposed to have meaning but I'm really not sure what that is beyond the national championship.  I like Ohio State so I guess I'll watch that game but otherwise, I could not be more bored by a sport right now.  Well, I guess except the NBA.  I won't be rolling this blog over to basketball anytime soon. I hope you all had wonderful Christmases and Hannukahs!  See you next week!

It Is So Very On

I can't quite believe I did it...but I did it! I am officially in the championship game in not one, but both of my fantasy leagues. I'm actually pretty surprised at myself but I don't know why. I have two things going for me that help you win in fantasy - a lot of downtime to fiddle with my lineup and the fact that during said downtime I watch and read a whole lot of ESPN. Basically I just pay attention. But I'm not going to start the horn-tooting quite yet. I want to WIN. I have to win at least one league. So we're starting with the State of the Babies (quite good).

I don't think the Boys are surprised that I have gotten this far but I think all of the sudden the alarm bells are going off that I could realistically win. I honestly don't think I will beat my opponent, Silence of the Rams. He's been dominant the entire season and never fell from the first seed (though in support of myself, I never fell from the two spot either). He's got LT so that makes him dangerous no matter what. Right now the league matchup function projects him beating me by only about 10 points, so it could be anyone's game. Its probably good for me that we'll all be apart this weekend for the championship battle, everyone in their respective home towns for the holidays. I am not sure what the reaction will be if I do win. I hope they'll talk to me afterward.

In my Dad's league, I am playing some team called the Smithereens, who I must take down because he's the one who beat my dad this past weekend in the first round of the playoffs. I had so wished for a family matchup, particularly since we'll be watching together this weekend, but alas it didn't work out as planned. So now I must win one for the family. My dad has a pretty impressive record though - championships two years in a row and a first seed playoff berth the third. This is the game I think I can really pull off. This guy scored 79 points total last week...I scored 141. The Smiths have some players capable of breaking out though (Favre, Addai, Burress, McGahee), and he's got a couple favorable matchups. But I do too and if my team can keep rolling like it has been then I can pull off the win. Its been a strange season with that team...my running backs are Ryan Grant and Earnest Graham - two guys I had never even heard off at the beginning of the season and who are now having regular 100 yard games and most weeks are scoring at least one touchdown.

And now, in a very special guest blogging appearance, my very own Dad! He'd just like to revel and share in my awesomeness. Trust me, you'll notice family resemblance quickly as he shares his weekly highlights.

I am delighted to make a guest appearance in Lisa’s Blog.

I must congratulate her on her stellar debut performance in Fantasy Football. Regardless of the outcome of this week’s championship games, she has done a great job. I can assure you as her father that she knew almost nothing about the NFL until she started following the Patriots in college, despite cheering for the Patriots in high school. To be this savvy and successful is a great accomplishment, even though you only get bragging rights out of it. Seeing your child succeed in something is the best thing for a parent. Those of you who are not parents yet will understand someday. So well done Sasa. Ask her what that means.

And now for some random thoughts on the NFL and Week 15:

- I am now seriously rooting for the Packers. One reason is Lisa’s Grandfather, a cheesehead who has stayed loyal despite not living in Wisconsin since the Korean War. The other reason is that they will hopefully defeat the hated Cowboys in the NFC Championship.

- Where does one start in talking about the Cowgirls? There is the whining T.O., there is Jessica Simpson, there is Wade Phillips standing on the sidelines with no one paying attention to him because they know that Jason Garrett and Jerry Jones run the team. There is Romo, who despite doing a good job is not the second coming of Brett Favre yet. And, of course there is the whole America’s Team thing.

- Jessica Simpson, please. It is a football game, not E! News. It was a very good game so we did not need to see her on a regular basis. I love watching sports and do not need the extra crap that the networks bring in. I think most people agree with me on this. Just show us the game.

- One other thing about the Cowboys. Can they keep Roy Williams in the lineup forever? He is good for a personal foul every game and he cannot cover to save his life. Glad to see that he is being suspended. What a fraud.

- Unstoppable- Eli Manning. Have you seen his ad? I would say he was Citizen’s spokesperson but he does not speak in the ad. He really is getting worse. Again, the downside of their slide (they are at Buffalo and home against New England and could fall out of the playoffs) is that Coughlin would be fired. We need him in the NFC East. Coughlin could make people like Bobby Petrino.

- Finally, the Eagles. It has been a sad year for them. If they catch a punt in Green Bay and stop Brian Griese from going 97 yards in less than two minutes with no timeouts, they are in the playoffs. I have to blame the coach for this. He is a fine fellow (let’s not talk about his parenting skills, something I know about- see Lisa and Betsy) but a real stubborn guy. The team has no top rate receivers, poor return game and does not draft well. Please, Andy, get in a personnel guy and concentrate on the game. Also, look at the films. When you run well, you win. Stop calling passes on third and 1 or 2nd and 3 in field goal range late in the fourth quarter down by 3 with AJ at the helm. With the right play call there, you Patriot lovers might be looking at 18-1.

I'm not sure if you could tell but my dad really hates the Cowboys. I thought for a second, oh no, what if by some crazy chance the Cowboys beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl? What would I do? My life would be over, how could I ever watch football again? The thought is just too frightening. I am also so glad someone brought up those ridiculous Eli Manning watch ads...dear lord, what on earth would make you hire Eli Manning for an ad whose theme is being unstoppable? I know he's a lot cheaper than Peyton but its not even close! There is no way and no how Eli is unstoppable. It makes you wonder if those ad execs ever watched him play a game.
Also today was the Pro Bowl lineup announcements. Honestly not very much to comment on. People are apt to be up in arms about Fred Taylor yet again not making the team (or I guess as an alternate). But really, how do you argue against the 3 running backs - LT, Willie Parker, and Joseph Addai. I am however quite happy that Brian Westbrook finally made the roster, because it would be a travesty if he didn't. He's a top 5 back this year. I'm also a bit surprised that Drew Brees didn't get the third NFC quarterback spot but I guess the Saints just haven't been consistent enough. The Cowboys managed to squeak in a league-high 11 players, which I guess in the NFC isn't surprising, though its nauseating. I guess they're still popular or whatever and people vote for players they know, sometimes regardless of stats.

I know I promised my NFC Playoff Preview this week but in light of my guest I am pushing that to next week. By then most of it should be wrapped up. I can only hope that by this time next week, the Giants will have lost their previously-almost-guaranteed playoff spot. I would LOVE that. At least if the Saints got in instead we'd have a game in the first round, instead of wasting our time watching yet another Giants one and done playoff embarrassment. And with any luck, Tony Romo's thumb boo-boo will provide the Cowboys a one-way ticket to Lambeau Field in January. Here's hoping!

Random Thought of the Week

You heard it here first (ok well courtesy of Perez Hilton) but Britney Spears' younger 16 year old sister is pregnant!!! Can you even believe this? Well yes of course we can because we can now be more sure than ever that the Spears' are pure trash. This girl stars in her own Nickelodeon series that is the most watched show on the network. Way to screw that up. Have these girls never heard of the birth control pill? My lord! What a royal idiot.

That's all for this week. I wish all my friends and family a wonderful holiday and a relaxing vacation (if you are taking one). I'll be traveling back to Pennsylvania tomorrow for about 10 days. Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah!

AFC Playoff Preview

How can you not be in love with this man...he's too perfect. Earlier this week he'd made this comment in response to Steeler's safety Anthony Smith's "guarantee" of a Pittsburgh win:


"Well done is always better than well said. That's been the motto of this team.''


Peter King, who everyone knows my favorite NFL writer, admired Tom just as much as I did in making such a profound comment in reaction to something that could have caused other players to be pretty upset. So he asked him where he got it from, and this was his answer:

"Ben Franklin said that. I learn from where we all have, my dad!"


The man quotes Ben Franklin. I could just fall over from love.


I won't go on too much about this weekend's game. I think the game has said all that is needed to be said itself. I really feared the worst, because the Steelers are basically the better versions of the Eagles and Ravens. But I should not have feared, because Belichick knew exactly what to do with the team to get them back in the right place. A little anger and a little rest were all they needed. Now Tommy is five touchdown passes in three games away from breaking that record. Randy Moss is only four touchdowns in three games away from breaking Jerry Rice's record of 22 receiving TDs in a season - a record that has been previously thought to be untouchable. The amazing part is that I will be more surprised if they don't make these records than if they both do.


I am skipping over the State of the Babies section this week because it was an unimportant week in fantasy. Playoffs begin next week and both of my leagues are locked up already. I will be the number two seed in the Boy's league and I am not sure about the other one, but I think I will be three. The only thing I care to point out is that the first place Boy decided this week to "rest his starter" and still beat the piss out of his opponent with Kellen Clemens. That was pretty funny.

Instead, I'm going to do my first annual Playoff Preview, starting with the AFC!


Currently, the AFC playoff picture looks like this:


1. New England Patriots (13-0, AFC East, home-field, and 1st round bye already locked)

The only question is undefeated or not!

2. Indianapolis Colts (11-2, playoff berth locked, should win AFC South this week)

Barring a total collapse the next few weeks and massive Jacksonville surge, the Colts will tie up the other 1st round bye. And considering their rout of Baltimore this week, we should all be slightly scared of them.

3. Pittsburgh Steelers (9-4, should win AFC North)

The Steelers lucked out in that they've swept their division games against the Browns, who are just a game back. They have another very tough game against Jacksonville next week. They need to win that and keep those pesky Jags away from them in the playoffs.

4. San Diego Chargers (8-5, should win AFC West this week)

Scaring the crap out of their fans weekly. They've gotten some lucky breaks and managed to pretty much secure the West. The rest of the division has faltered and that has certainly helped because this team can be lucky to be called mediocre. If they can run the table, they have an outside chance of moving to the 3rd seed. They should hope so, because I don't think the Jags would be a very good matchup for them.

5. Jacksonville Jaguars (9-4)

The Jags have all but locked up this first Wild Card seed. They shouldn't even need to win at Pittsburgh next week to do it, considering how easy their last two games are. I tell you - I wouldn't want to have to play them in the first round.

6. Cleveland Browns (8-5)

Well, well, well. Cleveland - what are you doing here? Next week's game at Buffalo will be key, but their other two games are also very winnable (at Cincinnati, SF). I think if they can take 2 out of 3 they will remain in the 6th spot. Buffalo is the next team below them and they have a tough ending schedule.

I really like what is going on in Buffalo these days but I think they are too young and too banged up to move above the Browns. They also have a much harder schedule, facing Cleveland, Philly, and the Giants in the last three weeks.


So this means that the first round games would be Cleveland at Pittsburgh and Jacksonville at San Diego. Pittsburgh beats Cleveland in a close one, where the Browns make it a game but aren't able to close it up. They are young and this will be the first postseason game for almost the entire team. They won't be quite ready. Jacksonville beats San Diego on the road. Don't they always say that defense and a good running game wins in the playoffs? Jacksonville is about as good on both of those fronts as a team can be. San Diego (possibly lacking Shawne Merriman and Lorenzo Neal - huge losses for them) won't be able to take away the Jags run game. San Diego loses again in the playoffs, at home.


That makes round two Pittsburgh at Indy, and Jacksonville at New England. From what we saw of Pittsburgh this weekend, I think Indy will pick them apart, especially at the RCA Dome where they have a massive home field advantage. New England beats Jacksonville because well, they just do. Though admittedly I don't think it will be an easy win. I predict the Pats giving up a lot of yardage, but outscoring the Jags with their incredible passing game. The Jags receivers aren't good enough for them to be able to outscore the Pats.

Of course that brings us right back to yet another Indy at New England AFC Championship game. The Pats win in a for-real shootout (not the same battle as their regular season game, due to the Colts defensive injuries).

Come on, did you really think this would lead to anything but the Pats going to the Super Bowl? NFC next week!



This Week's Favorite Things in the NFL:

1. The crowd at Gillette Stadium chanted "Guarantee!" at the end of the game last weekend. I love it! They say the crowd there has gotten complacent, so it makes me happy to hear them stay in it like that.

2. I'm officially kind of into the Vikings. They can still win even when Adrian Peterson gets 3 whole yards? That's what I call a turnaround. Say what you will about the parity issues in this league, but I love the fact that teams can come out of nowhere.

3. The Bears are going to start Kyle Orton next week, the guy who started the season as the number 3 on the depth chart. Then Rex Grossman comes out and says he'd love to be back with the Bears next year. Sweetie...its over. You were benched, for a guy who is almost 10 years older than you, then lose the job yet again (ok fine he's hurt but its clearly not that bad). Just move on, with the utter lack of decent quarterback play this year, some team will take a gamble on you.

4. Through all the turmoil this year, I still really like Drew Brees, a lot. I just watched that ESPN commercial where he can't get through the security gate on his Mardi Gras float and he's really funny. And if you watched any of the horrible MNF game yesterday, you saw his absolutely sick performance. Accurate is an understatement. And he happens to be one of my fantasy QBs :)


Random Thought of the Week

On the complete opposite end of football, I think I am officially over The Hills (its an MTV show for anyone who doesn't know). They made this huge deal over the finale episode last night, only to have nothing remotely surprising or interesting happen. Oooh Lauren goes to Paris for what, 2 weeks? Then they make another huge deal about Lauren revealing some kind of "secret" after the show, and the secret turns out to be that they are doing more episodes. Um, lame.