Life Without Daddy

Last weekend my parents came to visit me in LA from Philadelphia and since the NBC night game happened to be an Eagles game, we thought it would be fun to cook dinner for The Boys and watch the game all together. The Eagles took a devastating loss (sigh) that made the night completely depressing in the end, but at least the chili was good (great recipe, Mom!). My parents love to talk, which is probably where I get it from, and also love to share childhood stories about our family whenever possible. Its endearing but of course provides an ample amount of embarrassment for me. As we watched the NBC halftime show last week, my dad couldn't help but share a story about me and noted ex-player and commentator, the Chris Collinsworth.

I was born in Cincinnati in 1982, when Collinsworth was a star on the Cincinnati Bengals. He was young and a Pro-Bowler, and from what my mom has indicated to me, a full-on heartthrob at the time. When I was only a few months old, my mom found out that Collinsworth was making a personal appearance at an electronics store in our area, and for some strange reason decided that it would be fun to go meet him and take a Polaroid with the baby. Yes folks, a Polaroid...it was the early 80's. I can't quite figure out why my parents wanted to go because never once when I was a kid did they ever let us go to something like this, you know, when I would have been old enough to actually say hello. In any case, they showed up only to find a giant line. They attempted the line but soon realized the absurdity of waiting hours to take one picture of their tiny baby with some football player and left. The story should end there. But, as my dad told it last weekend, as they packed me up to go, they realized that something had happened to my diaper and I had somehow peed all over my dad as he'd held me in line! The moral of the story is that had that line not been so annoyingly long, I would have peed on Chris Collinsworth. But thank the lord, I didn't. Someone up there liked me enough at 3 months to say, no Lisa, you will not have to suffer hearing about that time you peed on Chris Collinsworth for the rest of your life. I rarely get these sort of breaks, so I really appreciate it!

This story led me to think about other random connections I might have to the NFL. There weren't many. I went to high school with a current NFL player named Bryan Scott. He was our big sports star and I knew him very casually from being a cheerleader and singing in the school choir with him. He was just a very talented guy and incredibly nice. He went on to play at Penn State and was drafted as a safety to the Falcons a few years ago. Now he's playing for the Bills, I think mostly doing special teams.

The only other thing I could come up with was the time I was less than 5 feet from Tom Brady's unborn child. Bridget Moynihan happened to be in my office and was a few months pregnant. She walked right by me and I could care less that it was her, I just wanted to see the bump! Ok that kind of makes me sound like some sort of crazy-stalker-babynapper person. I'm not, by the way, I just love Tom Brady, a lot. Something happens to me when I see him and I am unable to function. I really wish Bridget would stop making him look like such a dead beat. She's chosen to conveniently ignore the fact that she got pregnant after they had broken up and that she is significantly older than him (maybe even older than she says she is), and had told friends that she wanted a family now. By many accounts that is why they broke up!!! So now I am supposed to believe that a 36 year old woman accidentally got pregnant by her ex-boyfriend who had already told her he wasn't ready for kids? After several years together, wouldn't they have the whole birth control thing down? Then she gets pregnant, moves to LA, and ends up selling photos of her and John Edward Thomas Moynihan to OK Magazine, who makes the cover headline, "Life Without Daddy." Does anyone ever think about the child when they do these things? He's going to see that someday. She's the one who chose to move 3000 miles away, and if that is what she felt was best for her then anyone can support that, but she knows that Tom can't move. And yes, I know that Tommy spent most of the pregnancy traipsing around with Gisele, and I would have preferred them stay low-profile too, but don't use the kid as ammunition for your own fight. You might hate Daddy, but he doesn't even know Daddy.


Now on to The State of the Babies.

I went 1-1 this week in my leagues - winning easily in the Boys' league and losing, but not too badly, in my Dad's league. Both of my defenses were stars - New England and San Diego - but particularly in my Dad's league I think I need some major offensive upgrades. I am pretty close to benching Marques Colston, particularly considering I am now benching Dwayne Bowe, who many people are calling the most impressive offensive rookie right now. I also went back to starting LJ instead of Sammy Morris but that backfired. Sammy had another 100 yards; LJ is officially dead to me. The only significant move I made this week was picking up Michael Pittman of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers on my Dad's league Babies. He looked good replacing Cadillac Williams last week but he didn't do much either this week and now is also injured and out maybe 6 weeks. Poor Cad. I had a hard time even watching his injury happen - his knee literally went the wrong way. They are saying its career-threatening. It is just always sad when you hear that about such a young, promising player.

I finally got to start Vince Young this week. I am a big Drew Brees proponent and I don't believe his problems are all his fault, but I had to try Vince instead. Once we went into negative points it was time. I am still amazed at how I got VY. My Dad's league has 12 people in it and everyone but me drafted two quarterbacks. I am still unsure as to why I didn't. When I realized that Brees was on bye last week I also noticed that someone was offering Young up for trade. I offered Brandon Marshall for him and for some odd reason the guy accepted. He must have been pretty desperate for receivers. Of course I missed the fact that my new QB was also on bye the same week...leading to last week's Trent Green debacle. Well this was kind of a debacle as well because even though the Titans won, VY threw 3 interceptions and there went all his points. I am not pleased.

I'm still very happy with the Boys' league Babies and I think I am going to remain in first place again this week. No one scores me a ridiculous amount of points but everyone is solid. Of course I have yet to be hit by the bye week and that comes this week. I lose Peyton, I lose Reggie Wayne, Brandon Marshall, and Willie Parker. I am in big trouble because this week is the battle royale of me versus the Silence of the Rams, the only other 5-0 team in the league. Ut-oh.


Week 5's Favorite Things About the NFL

1. Ricky Williams is applying for reinstatement again and a Denver group trying to legalize marijuana in Colorado put up a billboard encouraging Williams to come play in Denver. Hilarious. Somehow I don't think Mike Shanahan was pleased by that. I also hear that Ricky is mulling the idea of putting out a yoga DVD. I will buy that.

2. I didn't see this game but these sort of events just fascinate me - Houston kicker Kris Brown became the first kicker ever to kick 3 field goals over 54 yards, including the game winner! Its amazing to start that he would even be called on to do so (not a great offensive performance for Houston clearly) but the fact that anyone could make all of those kicks is pretty incredible. This is why we watch.

3. At the Angels-Red Sox ALDS game on Sunday afternoon, I finally found someone wearing the I HATE PEYTON MANNING t-shirt that was sold on the street near Fenway park last year. On the back it says ELI SUCKS TOO. I have been hunting for one of these shirts for months! I don't really hate Peyton but its a great shirt. Check it out...

4. This guy. Enough said.

Random Thought of the Week

Usually I would keep this spot open for something non-sports related but since I went to a special event this weekend, I can't help but talk about the Red Sox ALDS sweep that I saw this weekend. What a great game. When you get back-to-back home runs out of your two power hitters, there isn't much more you can ask for. My friends and I ran down to the dugout area for the last inning and celebrated with the tons of Sox fans also in attendance. I am blown away by the fact that in 2007, both the Red Sox and the Patriots have come to SoCal for playoff games and I have been able to see both of them. I will never forget either game. I was pleasantly surprised about how nice Angel Stadium is - easy, not too pricey parking, decent food, lots of bathrooms - very fan-friendly.

Thanks again for reading...I'll back for a very exciting week 6 including the big showdown of Dallas versus New England. I can't even bear to talk about last nights Dallas experience, so we'll just leave it with the thought that the Patriots better CRUSH them.